Not that I doubt the prophetic powers of’s shopper profiling algorithm, but consistently bizarre results have given me pause to consider if I’m not the person I think I am. If you’re not familiar with the technology, basically it combines your Amazon browsing purchasing habits, compares them to “similar” people’s and then adds a dash of “what we really WANT to sell you” from Amazon’s marketing database; making recommendations of things you MIGHT enjoy. The book recommendations are generally reasonable, but the product recommendations I’ve been getting are just plain bizarre. For example:

  • Thomas the Train Play Tent (lead optional, I presume)
  • Electric, Battery-Powered Socks (the heating kind, no super speed, afaik)
  • Total Body Shaver Grooming Tool (Pip will find this particularly ironic)
  • Tattoo Goo (specially formulated, post-tattoo skin conditioner)

From these insights, I have concluded that Amazon believes me to be an exceptionally hairy biker child with cold feet, possibly living in Antarctica. Oh, and they also want me to buy a Kindle. :-)