I just caught a graphic designer with some raw (albeit packaged) chicken in an optical scanner. Apparently, they wanted a high resolution capture of the packaging for some comparative marketing materials. I should make it clear that this is a package of boneless chicken, the type you find in your grocery store. Apparently, someone went out and bought it as market research.

After a small rant about how a scanner is an electric device with many small holes, moving parts and recesses in which chicken juices and the resulting Salmonella would gladly take up residence, I was told “But we have Windex”.

I hereby consider this justification to dress fish in my cubicle. And that is my Office Space moment today.