Let me preface by saying that I am not a spicy-hot food daredevil. I prefer my dishes interesting, stimulating and complex (aside from the occasional heretical “Sack full o’ Krystals” about once every two months). Hot food for the sake of trial-of-manhood, isn’t my thing.

That being said, I would like to offer the following advice: When the wizened man behind the counter at the new Chinese place asks you for a second, rather dubious, time, if you’d like your General Tso’s Chicken extra hot, the answer is an emphatic “No”, rather than the “Sure” that somehow escaped my lips.

On the plus side, I’m currently making use of sinus cavities that I’m not quite sure I possessed before lunch today.

And the piece de resistance? My fortune cookie…