So this morning I’m told we need individually written personal descriptors (role, experience, etc) statements for a client pitch. I read some examples that other people with other companies have done and they were so dramatic and overblown that I decided to have some fun.  Here is the first draft I sent in:

“Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! I am the manifestation of all things technological within these walls and well beyond. My peerless powers of IT and Development make lesser man and women tremble in awe. Not only do I know exactly how many bytes can dance on the head of a pin, it is I that make them dance! And when the time of ultimate pownage is upon my projects, they look up in submission and know their lord and master.”

Needless to say, I had to turn in a second, more client-friendly version.  :-)